SML Movie: Jeffy Says the B Word!


 * Jeffy: Hey, Daddy! I got my report card!
 * Marvin: Are there any Fs on your report card?
 * Jeffy: Um...no...
 * Marvin: Are you lying?
 * Jeffy: No, there's no Fs on it?
 * Marvin: Because, Jeffy, if there's a single F on that report card, we're not taking you to Disney World.
 * Jeffy: Oh, I will check this out. Boom! Not a single F on this report card. All Ds, Daddy. It stands for Disneyland, Disneyland, Disneyland, Disneyland, Disneyland, Disneyland.
 * Marvin: Jeffy, all Ds is not good!
 * Rose: Yeah, but it's still passing, Marvin. There are no Fs on his report card.
 * Marvin: But Ds are bad!
 * Rose: Ds are passing!
 * Marvin: And Ds are my nuts in your mouth.
 * Rose: Ugh! How old are you?
 * Marvin: Old enough to have my nuts in your mouth.
 * (Rose sighing)
 * Jeffy: Good one, Daddy.
 * Marvin: Jeffy, look. I guess that there's no Fs, we'll still take you to Disney World.
 * Jeffy: (gasping) Really, Daddy?! I'm gonna go pack my stuff right now!
 * Marvin: But you have to get better grades next time.
 * Rose: Marvin, I don't think we have enough money for all three of us to go.
 * Marvin: (sighs) You're right. We're really poor right now. I think we could buy two tickets.
 * Rose: Okay, I think you and Jeffy should go so you can have a father-son trip.
 * Marvin: (sighs) I guess you're right. Me and Jeffy haven't spent a lot of time together. I'll go buy to tickets at Disney World.
 * Rose: Okay.
 * Marvin: All right, baby. I got me and Jeffy two tickets to Disney World.
 * Rose: Aw, you and Jeffy are gonna have so much fun!
 * Marvin: Yeah, I hope so. Jeffy are ready to go?
 * Jeffy: Yeah, Daddy! Sure am!
 * Marvin: Jeffy, what is that?
 * Jeffy: Oh, it's Tow Mater without the tuh!
 * Marvin: No, not Tow Mater! You got a mask! What are you wearing?
 * Jeffy: Oh, it's the piglet mask I found in your closet!
 * Rose: Marvin! Where did you get that?!
 * Marvin: I've never seen that mask before in my life, Jeffy. Take the piglet mask off!
 * Jeffy: No, I wanna wear it in Disneyland on all the rides!
 * Marvin: You can't wear that on all the rides in Disneyland. You gotta take it off.
 * Jeffy: But I gotta show Winnie the Pooh his best friend, Piglet!
 * Marvin: He already knows his best friend, Piglet. You gotta take that mask off right now!
 * Jeffy: No, Daddy. I wanna wear the piglet mask!
 * Marvin: Take it off, Jeffy. Look. (stammers) You can take Tow Mater. You just can't take the mask!
 * Jeffy: (calmly) Oh, okay, Daddy. Oink, oink.
 * Rose: So, Marvin, are we gonna talk about the piggy mask?
 * Marvin: We're not gonna talk about the piggy mask!
 * Rose: Okay.
 * Jeffy: All right, Daddy, I'm ready to go to Disneyland!
 * Marvin: All right, Jeffy, grab your ticket to Disney World and let's go.
 * Jeffy: What?
 * Marvin: Grab your ticket to Disney World.
 * Jeffy: Disney World? I don't wanna go to Disney World, I wanna go to Disneyland!
 * Marvin: Jeffy, Disneyland and Disney World are the same thing!
 * Jeffy: No, they're not. I've I've already been to Disney World, and now I want to go to Disneyland!
 * Rose: Jeffy, they're basically the same place.
 * Jeffy: Uh, no there not, because Disney World is the world of Disney, and Disneyland is the land of Disney, and I've never been to Disneyland, so that's where I wanna go!!!
 * Marvin: Jeffy, if you been to Disney World, there's no reason to ever go to Disneyland. Disney World is bigger; It has Epcot, and Hollywood Studios, and everything!
 * Jeffy: I don't care! I've been to Disney World, and now, I wanna go to Disneyland!
 * Marvin: Jeffy, Disneyland is all the way on the other side of the country in California! We live in Florida! Disney World is in Florida, so we need to go to Disney World!
 * Jeffy: I don't care how far Disneyland is! I want to go there because I've never been there!
 * Marvin: Jeffy, I already bought tickets to Disney World! These tickets only work at Disney World, so we're going to Disney World!
 * Rose: Wait, let me see. Let me see. Let me look real quick.
 * Marvin: They're only good at Disney World, I already read it.
 * Rose: Well, right here, it says that it's good for Disneyland or Disney...
 * Marvin: It doesn't say that.
 * Rose: Yeah: It says it right here...
 * Marvin: It does not say that. It does not say that.
 * Rose: Oh, you want me to lie and say that the tickets are for Disney World not Disneyland. Oh-ho-ho!
 * Jeffy: I've already heard you! You just don't want to take me to Disneyland because you think I'm ugly! (bawling)
 * Rose: Oh, no, Jeffy. You're precious!
 * Marvin: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Disney World doesn't think you're ugly, Disneyland thinks you're ugly, so we don't want to go to Disneyland.
 * Jeffy: (wailing) If you don't take me to Disneyland, I'm gonna get all Fs on my report card, and wear the piggy mask to school every day!
 * Marvin: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...
 * Rose: No!
 * (Jeffy continues bawling)
 * Marvin: (stammering) Okay, okay. We'll go to Disneyland. We're gonna go to Disneyland.
 * Jeffy: Okay.
 * Marvin: Okay, I'm gonna buy plane tickets. God, we have to fly to California. I'm afraid of flying, baby. Can you just go with him?
 * Rose: Oh, no, Marvin. I have a bunch of appointments.
 * Marvin: Okay, okay, I'm gonna buy the plane tickets. Let's just go to the airport, Jeffy. We're going to Disneyland.
 * Jeffy: Yay!
 * Rose: Bye!
 * Jeffy: Hey, Daddy. Hey, Daddy. Hey, Daddy!
 * Marvin: What, Jeffy? What do you want?
 * Jeffy: Come, come look out the window!
 * Marvin: No, I'm not going to go out the window. I'm afraid of heights!
 * Jeffy: Hey, mister. What doing?
 * Marvin: Jeffy, leave the passengers alone!
 * Jeffy: (gasping) You have peanuts? Can I have some of your peanuts? No? Oh, man. Daddy, can you give me some peanuts? The guy behind us said I have to get my own.
 * Marvin: I'll ask the flight attendant. Just shut up, Jeffy.
 * Jeffy: Because if I could get some peanuts right now, that would be the bomb.
 * Marvin: You cannot say it!
 * Jeffy: What?
 * Marvin: You can't say bomb!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Excuse me, sir.
 * Marvin: Uh, yes?
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: I got a complaint from another passenger that said you were threatening the plane with a bomb.
 * Marvin: No, no, no, no, no. My son said bomb and I told him not to say bomb.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: See, you just said it again.
 * Marvin: No, no, no, I was just saying what I'm saying.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: See, now, you're saying it so much. I'm thinking maybe you got one up your butt and you wanna use it.
 * Marvin: No!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to calm down.
 * Marvin: I am calm. I just don't like planes!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Oh, you don't like planes so you want to get rid of it.
 * Marvin: No, no, no, I don't like flying.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: You don't like flying so you wanna force the plane down.
 * Marvin: No, no, no, no, no. You're being ridiculous!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Sir, If you don't calm down, I'm gonna have to strap you to the seat.
 * Marvin: I am calm!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: All right, that was pretty rowdy. I'm gonna have to strap you.
 * Marvin: No, no, no! Stop it! This is ridiculous!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: All right, sir. When we land, we're gonna untie you and we're gonna give you a cavity search.
 * Marvin: This is so stupid!
 * Jeffy: How did you get an extra seat belt?
 * Marvin: Jeffy, I'll kill you! I'll kill you, come over here, I'll kill you!
 * Mr. Goodman: Breaking news, mkay. A plane was forced to make an emergency landing after a man threatened the plane with a bomb.
 * Rose: Marvin! Oh, my God!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Sit down there, you!
 * Rose: Marvin, what is going on?
 * Marvin: Well Jeffy had to...
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Come on, I'll tell you what's going on? Your husband threatened to plane with a bomb! Stop it! Stop it! Get it out!
 * Marvin: Jeffy wanted peanuts on the airplane, and Jeffy said if he got peanuts it would be the bomb, and I said Jeffy, don't say bomb, and then, he heard me say bomb, and he stuck his hand up my butt looking for a bomb.
 * Rose: See, Officer, it was just a mistake!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: No, no, no. Nobody says bomb on a plane unless they have one.
 * Marvin: What if the person's flying to Bombay?
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: What did you just say? Get down! Let me check your butt again!
 * Marvin: I don't have a bomb in my butt!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: That's exactly what somebody with a bomb would say!
 * Rose: Officer, what is going to happen?
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Well, your husband's on a no-fly list, which means he can never fly on a plane ever again!
 * Marvin: Well, I'm afraid of flying so I don't care.
 * Jeffy: So are we still going to Disneyland?
 * Marvin: Oh, we're not going to Disneyland after this!
 * (Jeffy wailing sadly)
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Oh, God. I hate crying people. Like whenever I arrest somebody, and they're like, "That's no mine! You just planted that in my car. I saw you!" and it's like I had to plant it there because I have to meat my arrest quota. Jeez! Anyway. Now, I don't wanna see you on a plane ever again, buddy. You hear that, little man?
 * Marvin: (stammering) Stop poking me.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Boop!
 * Marvin: (stammering) Don't boop my nose! (sighing in disappointment)
 * Jeffy: So how are we gonna get to Disneyland?
 * Marvin: Well, Jeffy, look. We... We can just drive to Disneyland, but it's gonna take, like, three days, so we'll leave tomorrow.
 * Jeffy: Okay, good.
 * Marvin: All right.
 * Rose: Marvin, I'm hungry. Can you take me somewhere nice?
 * Marvin: Baby, I just got put on a no-fly list. Do you think I wanna go to a restaurant?
 * Rose: Come on, somewhere nice?
 * Marvin: (sighing) I can see if we can get a reservation at Harry Hausen's.
 * Rose: Harry Hausen's? But it's impossible to get a reservation!
 * Jeffy: Not for googly-bear.
 * Marvin: Let's go baby.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Oh, can I come? Ha-ha. Please, please, please?
 * Marvin: What? No! You're not gonna go with us!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: (sighing) You never take me anywhere. You're a dumb friend.
 * Rose: Marvin, how did you get us a reservation at Harry Hausen's?
 * Marvin: I didn't. We're just sitting at a random table.
 * Rose: Marvin, what if they kick us out?
 * Marvin: Baby, they're not gonna kick us out. We're already sitting here.
 * Chives: Excuse me, but unfortunately, we are closing in five minutes.
 * Rose: Aw.
 * Marvin: Oh, n-no. Baby, don't worry. Look, we already know what we want. Can we just order?
 * Chives: (sighing) What can I get you?
 * Marvin: Baby, hurry up and look at the menu.
 * Rose: Okay, let me see.
 * (Chives sighing)
 * Rose: Oh, Marvin, I can't see it from here. Just order, uh, sushi and chocolate cake.
 * Marvin: Okay, uh, do you guys have sushi.
 * Chives: (sighing) We are now closing in four minutes.
 * Marvin: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I know what we want. Uh, can we get the-the dynamite roll.
 * Chives: Okay.
 * Marvin: And then can we get the...the chocolate cake?
 * Chives: Chocolate cake, sir.
 * Marvin: Yeah, yeah, it's right there.
 * Chives: I don't believe we don't have a chocolate cake on the menu.
 * Marvin: Well, yes, you... Yes you do. It's right here; it says "chocolate cake". Read it.
 * Chives: Oh, you must be referring to the chocolate smothered calamari.
 * (Rose gagging)
 * Marvin: No, no, no, no, no. That's up here. We're talking about the chocolate cake under desserts.
 * Chives: Mmm, I'm sorry, sir, I'm afraid I don't have my reading glasses. You'll have to read it for me.
 * Marvin: It says "chocolate cake". Don't you know the menu?
 * Chives: No, I'm sorry, we change the menu every day.
 * Rose: Marvin, just order the chocolate cake.
 * Marvin: (sighing) Okay, can I please get the-the chocolate bomb cake?
 * Chives: Bomb! Bomb! This man claims to have a bomb! Evacuate the building!
 * Marvin: No, no, it said chocolate bomb cake!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Freeze, you're under arrest! Wait, it's you again? Now you're threatening a restaurant with a bomb?
 * Rose: Officer, it's just a misunderstanding!
 * Marvin: Yeah, I was just trying to order food off the menu. Look, it says chocolate bomb cake. See, see, right there!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Yeah, but the waiter said you also tried to order the dynamite roll. Why are you only ordering explosive menu items?
 * Rose: (complaining) But, but, but, we wanted sushi!
 * Marvin: Yeah, she wanted sushi, and the only sushi was the dynamite roll, and she wanted chocolate cake and the only chocolate cake was a chocolate bomb cake. I was just trying to order the cake.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: But earlier, you threatened the plane with a bomb, so why did you think you should be ordering explosive menu items? You could have ordered literally anything else on the menu like the, like the Lady Baltimore cake. Whatever the hell that is? Or the, or the butter corn pudding, huh? Why not that? Or the... Oh my God, look at these prices. Jesus Christ, I should be arresting the owners for robbery. Oh, my God. Wait, special shrimp stir fry. Oh, hold on, scoot over. I mean, I'm going to arrest you, but I mean, a man's got to eat. I'm hungry. What's in the special shrimp stir fry? Waiter! I need a waiter! Excuse me, can an officer get some goddamn service over here? You don't protect and serve? W-wait a minute...Oh yeah, that's right, they evacuated the building because of the bomb. The bomb!' That's right, you're under arrest! Now bend over so I can check your butt!
 * (Marvin muttering angry)
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: All right, that's it! You're not allowed outside anymore! You're under house-arrest!
 * Marvin: House-arrest! Why?
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Because you won't stop talking about bombs! You already threatened the restaurant and a plane! I can't trust you!
 * Marvin: This whole thing's a misunderstanding!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: And I'm getting real tired of sticking my hand up your butt. I'm going to have to start wearing gloves because I'm really tired of cleaning my fingernails.
 * Marvin: I was just trying to order food at the restaurant! It's called chocolate bomb cake! That's what it's called!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Your noses itches. (sniffing) Oh, God, your house stinks. W-w-wait a minute, it's not your house; it's your ass! Ew, God
 * Marvin: Wash your hands!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Wash your ass.
 * Marvin: Wha...
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Gross.
 * Marvin: Don't wipe it on me!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Why? It's your stink. It's your ass.
 * Marvin: Stop it! Oh, this whole thing is a misunderstanding. What can I do to stop all this?
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Well, if you could get a witness that could testify that you weren't really talking about a bomb, then I guess I could let you go.
 * Marvin: Well, m-my son, Jeffy; he knows this whole thing started over peanuts. He knows I wasn't talking about bombs.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Okay, well, if you can get him to tell me you weren't talking about bombs, then I'll leave you alone.
 * Marvin: Okay, let me go get my son.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: No, no, no, no, no. I can't leave you alone with him. You might threaten him to make him say that. You're gonna have to bring him here.
 * Marvin: Okay. Baby, can you send Jeffy a text?
 * Rose: What do you want me to do?
 * Marvin: (sighing) Send a text.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Semtex, like the explosive?!
 * Marvin: No, no! I said send a text.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: I heard Semtex.
 * Marvin: (sighing) Can you send a text message to Jeffy and tell him to come here?
 * Rose: Okay!
 * Marvin: (sighing) Y-y-you're crazy. Like, you're going crazy.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: No, I think you're crazy. So, I'm gonna give you a psychological test, okay? Now, how many fingers am I holding up,
 * Marvin: Not your thumb?
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Yeah, how many fingers do you see?
 * Marvin: I see four
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: C-4? Like the bomb? I'm gonna check your butt again!
 * (Marvin speaking angry gibberish)
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Oh, God. (sniffs) Ew! Oh, man, Would you, like, not wipe? What's going on?
 * Marvin: I-I don't expect someone to give me a cavity search. I'm not prepared.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: So you're just sitting like that? Doesn't it itch?
 * Jeffy: Hey, Daddy!
 * Marvin: Oh, hey, Jeffy. Tell the officer...
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: No, no, no, no, no. Let me ask him. I don't want you to, like, stringing him along, or something. Okay, Jeffy, I have a few questions for you. So, like, do you guys not on toilet paper what's going on here?
 * Marvin: Well, ask him about the peanuts.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: (sighing) The bomb's right, okay. So Jeffy, now, has your father ever said anything about hating planes?
 * Jeffy: Yeah?
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Oh, really?
 * Marvin: I don't like planes. I'm afraid of flying.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Shh. shh. shh. Now, Jeffy, do you think your father would like it if all the planes just exploded.
 * Jeffy: Yeah?
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Oh, really?
 * Marvin: I-I-I don't like planes. Like, I'm afraid of flying.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Quiet, quiet. Now, Jeffy, does your father have a lot of gasoline somewhere?
 * Jeffy: Yeah, in his car.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Oh, really?
 * Marvin: All cars have gas in them!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Then why don't you get a Tesla?
 * Marvin: Because I, because they're expensive!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Oh, really? All right, Jeffy. I have one more question for you. Is this whole thing actually just about you wanting peanuts?
 * Jeffy: Yeah, 'cause I wanted peanuts, and I asked my daddy for some, and I said, if I got some peanuts, it would be the bomb.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Oh, the bomb, like a good thing.
 * Marvin: Yes, yeah, it's like a good thing, like, oh-those are the bombs.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Oh, well, don't I feel silly.
 * Marvin: Well, yeah, there's a big misunderstanding, do you understand it now?
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Yeah, okay, yeah, I know I understand, you're free to go.
 * Marvin: Free to go!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Wait a minute! Unless he's in on it, and you actually do have something up your butt that I didn't find the first three times!
 * Marvin: No, there's nothing on my butt!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Okay, I'll make you a deal. Let me search your butt one more time, and if I don't find anything, other than dingleberries, you're free to go.
 * Marvin: (sighing) No, there's nothing in my butt!
 * Rose: Marvin, don't you want this to be over?
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Yeah, your ass is on the line.
 * Marvin: (sighing) Okay, fine. Do it one more time.
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Yes. All right, I didn't find anything, so you're free to go, and I went up to the elbow this time.
 * Marvin: Thank God, It's over.
 * Jeffy: So when are we leaving for Disneyland, Daddy?
 * Marvin: We're not going to DIsneyland!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Guess what, Simmons? You owe me 100 bucks.
 * Officer Bruce Simmons: No way, mate!
 * Brooklyn T. Guy: Yep, that's right. You bet me that I couldn't get the same guy to let me give him a cavity search four times in one day, and I did it, so smell it and weep.
 * Officer Bruce Simmons: (sniffing) Oh, God! Here, take your hundred and leave! Oh! (coughing)